Baby Talk

I admit that I baby-talk the shit out of Uma and June, but baby-talking a baby creeps me out a little.  There are a bunch of baby/kid words that I simply hate.  Sorry if you use these words.  I fully realize that there’s nothing wrong with these words.  I just want you to know that my kids won’t know what you’re talking about if you use the following words.

1.  “Binky” or “Paci”
Ugh, no.  I hate both.  It’s a pacifier or a schnuller (the German word for pacifier).  Yes, I understand that it’s a little Dwight Schrute of me that I’d rather have my kid call it a German word, but it’s way better than “paci.”  Plus, this isn’t totally out of left field.  My sister-in-law lives in Germany and so we all learned this word when my oldest niece was born.  I like it.

2.  “Potty”
Ohhhhh, gawd, don’t get me started on my hatred of this word.  I HATE IT almost as much as I hate pickles.  I HATE when adults use this word.  Ew, don’t tell me you’ve “got to go to the potty.”  I REALLY HATE when people use this word when referring to their animals.  Really??  You’re “potty training” Fido?  NO YOU AREN’T….YOU’RE HOUSEBREAKING HIM.   When I hear someone say to their dog, “Do you need to potty?” I want to choke that person.  What’s wrong with “Do you need to go outside?”  They know what happens out there and there isn’t a toilet involved.

As far as kids go I know that “potty training” is pretty standard lingo, but I simply can’t use it.  It seriously gives me hives so I have to come up with an alternative. 

3.  "Diapey" or "Nappy"
It's a diaper.  No need to baby-talk here.

4.  "Buggy"
I don't HATE this word, but I also don't use it.  A grocery cart is a grocery cart.  A stoller is a stroller.

What about you?  Any baby/kid words that you can’t deal with?  I’ll do my best to avoid them if you do your best to avoid these.  There are plenty of completely normal/non-offensive words that I hate that aren't baby related too.  Like, "milkshake" and "vehicle."  Ugh, don't say either of those to me unless you hate me and want to see my blood pressure rise.