Expectation VS Reality

There were a lot of assumptions I made about being a mom that I’ve learned just simply aren’t going to happen.  The faster I accept the reality and let go of my expectations the happier John and I will be, but that doesn’t make it any easier.

One of these expectations is John’s adaptability, especially after 5:00 pm.  I assumed that John would be my perfect little sidekick and that I could tote him around and he'd always be happy and smiley and birds would be chirping on my shoulder when I leave the house.  I knew life would majorly change after John was born, but thought that eventually he’d be able to go out to dinner, run errands, etc. and that it wouldn’t be a big deal.  I have friends whose babies are perfectly content to sleep in a sling or carseat so I (wrongly) assumed that John would be the same.  Haha…yea, not so much.  He’s a good baby, but is FAR from as adaptable as I thought he would be and I’m just now realizing that every baby is different and I just happened to get one who likes to be at home and needs peace and quiet in the evening.  I felt that I must have messed up somewhere and that there was something wrong with the fact he’s like this.  But I have to cut myself a break here.  I didn’t do anything wrong.  John just is who he is.  He genuinely loves bath time and his bedtime routine.  He’s been sleeping alone in his crib since he was 1 week old and not once has he fussed when I put him down.  Not once.  That tells me that he likes the calmness that his room gives him and he’s not going to get that if I lug him out to a restaurant.  It sucks because I really thought young babies were happy sleeping anywhere, but I guess not.  Live and learn.

The good news is that on Friday Bud, John and I met two friends for dinner and John did well.  Granted, we went to Tijuana Flats knowing that we could bolt at any minute and that there wouldn’t be a long wait for service or food, but I feel like this is a baby step in the right direction.  It was SO great to get out on a Friday night and see people.  John was happy to look around at all the distractions in his car seat for a while, then he let Catherine hold him for a bit, but eventually we could see how tired he was so Bud took him.  About 3 minutes after being held by his dad, John was passed out so we slipped him back into his carseat where he slept until we got home.  I never knew how wonderful it would feel to have a beer and catch up with friends.  Heavenly.

My goal is to do things like this more often and get him used to it.  I’m happy the kid likes his routine, but I want him to be flexible with his schedule.  Meaning, we’ll still do the routine on nights when we go out, but it’ll start a little later.  That’s fair, right?