One Month Old!

Holding your huge head up is tough work

One month down!  I managed to keep a tiny human alive for an entire month.  I have to admit, there were moments this past month when I didn’t know if I would make it.  It has been the longest month of my life…full of love, tears, smiles, lots of questioning myself, and very little sleep.

I’m not sure if babies change as much every month as they do in month one, but I swear John has already been three different people so this monthly updates might be a bit all over the place (and WAY too long…sorry!).  As with my weekly pregnancy updates, I’m mainly writing this down to remind myself when #2 comes around (yes, there will be a #2…one day.) 

Sleeping:
“How’s he sleeping,” is usually the first question I’m asked so I thought it’d be a good place to start.  My default answer is “Pretty good.   I’m lucky,” which is mainly true.  The first few days were tough.  In the hospital and a couple days after we got home the only place that John would sleep at night was on me or Bud which meant that one of us was awake at all times holding him (although I did nod off a couple times while “on duty”).  Bud had to go back to work on Monday (Jan 28^th) so we knew this arrangement couldn’t last.  Our monitor wasn’t set up yet so we didn’t want to put him in his crib and because of surgery I wasn’t able to bend down far enough to put him in the Pack ‘n Play.  Eventually I learned that he would sleep like a champ in his Rock ‘n Play and occasionally in a bassinet that a friend let me borrow.  We set up the monitor when John was about 1 week old and he’s been sleeping in his crib at night since then.  To get him to sleep in there we double swaddle him, put on the white noise machine, turn on the ceiling fan, AND turn on his sleep sheep.  I know it’s a little insane, but hey…the kid sleeps in his crib so I’m willing to do whatever.

The first two weeks John was a very, very sleepy baby.  All day, everyday that’s all he wanted to do.  Because he lost a lot of weight in the early days we were instructed by his pediatrician and the hospital’s lactation consultant to wake him up every 2 to 3 hours and make him eat.  It felt so, so wrong to wake a sleepy little angel baby, but it was necessary those first couple weeks.  If it were up to him, he’d just sleep through every feeding.

That’s certainly not the case anymore.  Eating has replaced sleeping as his FAVORITE thing to do (more on that below).  Most days he’ll sleep off and on throughout the day with a good solid nap in the morning (2 to 3 hours) and another decent nap in the afternoon (1-2) hours.  He’ll also have little cat naps (20 to 45 minutes), usually after he eats and usually in my arms (bad mom, I know, I know).

Eating:
Eating is the other Hot Topic of my life the past month.  I was very thankful that John was a good nurser right from the start.  Breastfeeding was the only thing that I really read up on before John was born and I was determined to make it work.  Even though I read countless online articles, blogs, and this book I had NO IDEA how hard it would be.  It’s not painful, just exhausting.  It’s so tempting just to ditch breastfeeding and buy some formula so that Bud, my mom, or whoever can feed him, but then I remind myself all the reasons that I want to do this.  I originally wanted to make it to his first birthday, but I don’t know if that’ll happen.

As I mentioned, John lost a lot of weight pretty quickly after he was born.  At 3 days old he had lost 11% of his body weight (down from 7lbs 5 ozs to 6 lbs 7 ozs).  Bud and I were under the false impression that, like a puppy, he’d eat when he was hungry.  Well, babies are not puppies (valuable lesson, huh?) and a sleepy baby will sleep through critical feedings if you let him.  It was scary…the lactation consultant told us that if he lost more weight he’d have to be readmitted to the hospital.  She also asked me to pump for 15 minutes after each nursing session (TORTURE) and supplement with 1 oz of formula after each feeding until my milk came in.  It took over a week for me to be able to pump enough that we could ditch the formula.

Thankfully by his two week pediatrician appointment John was up to 8 lbs 5 ozs so I don’t have to pump or supplement anymore.  Yay!  Eventually, I will pump again to build a stock pile so that other people can feed him and I can get out of the house, but I’m giving myself a little break for now.

So, like I said, the first couple weeks I’d have to watch the clock and wake John up to feed him.  I literally was setting an alarm clock in the middle of the night to force feed my kid…bizarre.  He also had a hard time staying awake while eating.  We’d have to strip his clothes off, turn the ceiling fan on, etc. just to keep him awake. 

But the past 10 days or so John has suddenly realized that eating is THE BEST THING IN THE WORLD and will wake up every 2 to 2.5 hours demanding to eat right away or OH-MY-GAWD-I’M-GOING-TO-STARVE-TO-DEATH.  Sometimes, I’ll get a 3 hour stretch at night, but rarely.  Since he’s been eating with such gusto he also spits-up a lot.  I think he’s binging and purging, but have been told that babies can’t be overfed or have eating disorders.  Dr. Google explained that this kind of spit up is a laundry problem, not a medical problem. 

The Dogs:
“How are the girls doing?”  That’s the question that those who truly know and love me ask because they know how important U&J’s happiness is to me.  The girls are doing really well, mostly.  In the beginning, June totally ignored John.  I think it took about a week for her to acknowledge him at all.  Now she’ll go over to him to get a sniff every once now and then, but she doesn’t seem too interested.  She did, however, decide that she wasn’t getting enough attention a couple weeks ago and chewed her incision until it was gross and bloody.  Can you believe that she STILL isn’t healed from her surgery in December??  Ugh.

Uma has been great.  She’s very worried about John when he cries and wants to be right under my feet to “help out.” 

My only complaint is them barking out the window if anyone or thing goes by in front of our house which happens a lot because we live in a neighborhood, not the middle of nowhere.  When we first brought John home he didn’t flinch to the girls barking their heads off, but the past week or so it’s been bothering him which means it’s killing me.  I was so desperate for some peace earlier this week that I put aluminum foil in the windows next to the front door so they couldn’t see out.  It was so incredibly redneck that I had to take it down, but one whole day of no barking felt like heaven. 

Likes and dislikes:
This has changed a lot over the past month.  He used to HATE getting his diaper changed, but now it’s one of the ways I calm him down.  We out a little baby mirror next to the changing pad and it’s been a game-changer.  This kid cannot get enough of looking at himself.

Baths are also getting easier.  He screamed the whole way through his first few baths, but now is ok.  I wouldn’t say that he likes it, but he doesn’t scream so that’s an improvement.

He’s not interested in any toys or games, but he loves being sung to.  We've borrowed a swing and a vibrating chair from friends.  He's not crazy about either yet...he lasts about 5-10 minutes max before he's over it.

Last week we started using a pacifier if he’s upset and it’s been a big help.  Sometimes the kid just needs to suck something.

Size:
John wore Newborn sized diapers until Sunday, 2/ 17 when we switched him to Size 1.  He is still having a hard time filling out 0-3 months sized clothing, but his newborn outfits are a bit too small so that’s what he’s wearing mostly.

At his last pediatrician appointment on February 6 John was 8 lbs 5 ozs (75^th percentile), 20.5 inches (85^th percentile) and his head was 37 centimeters (97^th percentile).  That’s one huge head!

Me:
I’m doing pretty good.  I thought I was well prepared for this shit, but now I can say with certainty there is NOTHING in the world that can prepare you for this.  Having a newborn is tough work.  There is nothing like it.  Thank God he’s a cute, sweet little thing.

I have this app (Baby Connect…highly recommend) that I track John’s eating and diaper changes on.  I know it sounds insane, but I honestly can’t keep track of anything unless I write it down so the app takes the guess work out of my life.  If you would have asked me on January 21^st if I’d be the type of mom to track every shit my kids takes I’d laugh in your face, but here I am…logging every BM all day long.  Anyway, the reason I bring it up, the app tells me that I’ve nursed John for a total of 110 hours and 12 minutes.  Let’s let that sink in:

ONE HUNDRED AND TEN HOURS AND TWELVE MINUTES

which is better known as four and a half days of my life.  Like I said, breastfeeding is exhausting, but I’m hanging in there.  I honestly just had no idea how time consuming it would be.

Like most new moms, I had a bit of the Baby Blues early on, but I think they are getting better.  Nothing extreme, but I cried over anything and everything the first week.  When John was about a week old I took the dogs outside to run around.  I needed the fresh air more than they did and John was peacefully sleeping inside.  Bud saw me throwing the Frisbee and opened the door to tell me not to bend over (b/c of my incision).  That alone made me burst into tears.  While crying all I could think was “Everything has changed.  I can’t even play with my damn dogs anymore.”  It’s funny looking back, but at the time I thought my life was over.  Now my tears are limited to stress and/or exhaustion so I think the Baby Blues are behind me…hope so!

John’s highlight of the month:
Meeting me, obviously.

John’s low-point of the month:
His first bath.  He thought he was being waterboarded.

Favorite Picture of the month:

My three sleepy kids