Aunt-a-palooza

This lucky boy got to meet two of his three amazing aunts last weekend.  Sarah and Allyson were both in Jax to meet John.  It was SO wonderful to get to share my boy with two people that love him so much already.  I LOVE being an aunt to my two nieces and nephew.  It's such a special relationship...one that I didn't know much about because I didn't have an aunt or uncle growing up.  From my experience as an aunt and I can truly say that it only get better every time I see the kids.

Sarah and John...she cuddled him even though he was one fussy kid that day.

Allyson and John...she cuddled him even though he's a tiny, terrifying baby and was trying to do back-dives out of her arms half the time.

Clarks

Gag me!

John is as mad as I am that Anne Hathaway won an Oscar over Amy Adams.

One Month Old!

Holding your huge head up is tough work

One month down!  I managed to keep a tiny human alive for an entire month.  I have to admit, there were moments this past month when I didn’t know if I would make it.  It has been the longest month of my life…full of love, tears, smiles, lots of questioning myself, and very little sleep.

I’m not sure if babies change as much every month as they do in month one, but I swear John has already been three different people so this monthly updates might be a bit all over the place (and WAY too long…sorry!).  As with my weekly pregnancy updates, I’m mainly writing this down to remind myself when #2 comes around (yes, there will be a #2…one day.) 

Sleeping:
“How’s he sleeping,” is usually the first question I’m asked so I thought it’d be a good place to start.  My default answer is “Pretty good.   I’m lucky,” which is mainly true.  The first few days were tough.  In the hospital and a couple days after we got home the only place that John would sleep at night was on me or Bud which meant that one of us was awake at all times holding him (although I did nod off a couple times while “on duty”).  Bud had to go back to work on Monday (Jan 28^th) so we knew this arrangement couldn’t last.  Our monitor wasn’t set up yet so we didn’t want to put him in his crib and because of surgery I wasn’t able to bend down far enough to put him in the Pack ‘n Play.  Eventually I learned that he would sleep like a champ in his Rock ‘n Play and occasionally in a bassinet that a friend let me borrow.  We set up the monitor when John was about 1 week old and he’s been sleeping in his crib at night since then.  To get him to sleep in there we double swaddle him, put on the white noise machine, turn on the ceiling fan, AND turn on his sleep sheep.  I know it’s a little insane, but hey…the kid sleeps in his crib so I’m willing to do whatever.

The first two weeks John was a very, very sleepy baby.  All day, everyday that’s all he wanted to do.  Because he lost a lot of weight in the early days we were instructed by his pediatrician and the hospital’s lactation consultant to wake him up every 2 to 3 hours and make him eat.  It felt so, so wrong to wake a sleepy little angel baby, but it was necessary those first couple weeks.  If it were up to him, he’d just sleep through every feeding.

That’s certainly not the case anymore.  Eating has replaced sleeping as his FAVORITE thing to do (more on that below).  Most days he’ll sleep off and on throughout the day with a good solid nap in the morning (2 to 3 hours) and another decent nap in the afternoon (1-2) hours.  He’ll also have little cat naps (20 to 45 minutes), usually after he eats and usually in my arms (bad mom, I know, I know).

Eating:
Eating is the other Hot Topic of my life the past month.  I was very thankful that John was a good nurser right from the start.  Breastfeeding was the only thing that I really read up on before John was born and I was determined to make it work.  Even though I read countless online articles, blogs, and this book I had NO IDEA how hard it would be.  It’s not painful, just exhausting.  It’s so tempting just to ditch breastfeeding and buy some formula so that Bud, my mom, or whoever can feed him, but then I remind myself all the reasons that I want to do this.  I originally wanted to make it to his first birthday, but I don’t know if that’ll happen.

As I mentioned, John lost a lot of weight pretty quickly after he was born.  At 3 days old he had lost 11% of his body weight (down from 7lbs 5 ozs to 6 lbs 7 ozs).  Bud and I were under the false impression that, like a puppy, he’d eat when he was hungry.  Well, babies are not puppies (valuable lesson, huh?) and a sleepy baby will sleep through critical feedings if you let him.  It was scary…the lactation consultant told us that if he lost more weight he’d have to be readmitted to the hospital.  She also asked me to pump for 15 minutes after each nursing session (TORTURE) and supplement with 1 oz of formula after each feeding until my milk came in.  It took over a week for me to be able to pump enough that we could ditch the formula.

Thankfully by his two week pediatrician appointment John was up to 8 lbs 5 ozs so I don’t have to pump or supplement anymore.  Yay!  Eventually, I will pump again to build a stock pile so that other people can feed him and I can get out of the house, but I’m giving myself a little break for now.

So, like I said, the first couple weeks I’d have to watch the clock and wake John up to feed him.  I literally was setting an alarm clock in the middle of the night to force feed my kid…bizarre.  He also had a hard time staying awake while eating.  We’d have to strip his clothes off, turn the ceiling fan on, etc. just to keep him awake. 

But the past 10 days or so John has suddenly realized that eating is THE BEST THING IN THE WORLD and will wake up every 2 to 2.5 hours demanding to eat right away or OH-MY-GAWD-I’M-GOING-TO-STARVE-TO-DEATH.  Sometimes, I’ll get a 3 hour stretch at night, but rarely.  Since he’s been eating with such gusto he also spits-up a lot.  I think he’s binging and purging, but have been told that babies can’t be overfed or have eating disorders.  Dr. Google explained that this kind of spit up is a laundry problem, not a medical problem. 

The Dogs:
“How are the girls doing?”  That’s the question that those who truly know and love me ask because they know how important U&J’s happiness is to me.  The girls are doing really well, mostly.  In the beginning, June totally ignored John.  I think it took about a week for her to acknowledge him at all.  Now she’ll go over to him to get a sniff every once now and then, but she doesn’t seem too interested.  She did, however, decide that she wasn’t getting enough attention a couple weeks ago and chewed her incision until it was gross and bloody.  Can you believe that she STILL isn’t healed from her surgery in December??  Ugh.

Uma has been great.  She’s very worried about John when he cries and wants to be right under my feet to “help out.” 

My only complaint is them barking out the window if anyone or thing goes by in front of our house which happens a lot because we live in a neighborhood, not the middle of nowhere.  When we first brought John home he didn’t flinch to the girls barking their heads off, but the past week or so it’s been bothering him which means it’s killing me.  I was so desperate for some peace earlier this week that I put aluminum foil in the windows next to the front door so they couldn’t see out.  It was so incredibly redneck that I had to take it down, but one whole day of no barking felt like heaven. 

Likes and dislikes:
This has changed a lot over the past month.  He used to HATE getting his diaper changed, but now it’s one of the ways I calm him down.  We out a little baby mirror next to the changing pad and it’s been a game-changer.  This kid cannot get enough of looking at himself.

Baths are also getting easier.  He screamed the whole way through his first few baths, but now is ok.  I wouldn’t say that he likes it, but he doesn’t scream so that’s an improvement.

He’s not interested in any toys or games, but he loves being sung to.  We've borrowed a swing and a vibrating chair from friends.  He's not crazy about either yet...he lasts about 5-10 minutes max before he's over it.

Last week we started using a pacifier if he’s upset and it’s been a big help.  Sometimes the kid just needs to suck something.

Size:
John wore Newborn sized diapers until Sunday, 2/ 17 when we switched him to Size 1.  He is still having a hard time filling out 0-3 months sized clothing, but his newborn outfits are a bit too small so that’s what he’s wearing mostly.

At his last pediatrician appointment on February 6 John was 8 lbs 5 ozs (75^th percentile), 20.5 inches (85^th percentile) and his head was 37 centimeters (97^th percentile).  That’s one huge head!

Me:
I’m doing pretty good.  I thought I was well prepared for this shit, but now I can say with certainty there is NOTHING in the world that can prepare you for this.  Having a newborn is tough work.  There is nothing like it.  Thank God he’s a cute, sweet little thing.

I have this app (Baby Connect…highly recommend) that I track John’s eating and diaper changes on.  I know it sounds insane, but I honestly can’t keep track of anything unless I write it down so the app takes the guess work out of my life.  If you would have asked me on January 21^st if I’d be the type of mom to track every shit my kids takes I’d laugh in your face, but here I am…logging every BM all day long.  Anyway, the reason I bring it up, the app tells me that I’ve nursed John for a total of 110 hours and 12 minutes.  Let’s let that sink in:

ONE HUNDRED AND TEN HOURS AND TWELVE MINUTES

which is better known as four and a half days of my life.  Like I said, breastfeeding is exhausting, but I’m hanging in there.  I honestly just had no idea how time consuming it would be.

Like most new moms, I had a bit of the Baby Blues early on, but I think they are getting better.  Nothing extreme, but I cried over anything and everything the first week.  When John was about a week old I took the dogs outside to run around.  I needed the fresh air more than they did and John was peacefully sleeping inside.  Bud saw me throwing the Frisbee and opened the door to tell me not to bend over (b/c of my incision).  That alone made me burst into tears.  While crying all I could think was “Everything has changed.  I can’t even play with my damn dogs anymore.”  It’s funny looking back, but at the time I thought my life was over.  Now my tears are limited to stress and/or exhaustion so I think the Baby Blues are behind me…hope so!

John’s highlight of the month:
Meeting me, obviously.

John’s low-point of the month:
His first bath.  He thought he was being waterboarded.

Favorite Picture of the month:

My three sleepy kids

John's Room

So the nursery is finally about as done as it's going to get for now.  I had a couple of other things that I thought I wanted to do in there, but my little early bird put a kink in that plan.  I don't foresee any crafting anytime soon so let's just consider this complete.  I shouldn't blame the babe...I probably wouldn't have crafted anyway.  Damn you, Pinterest.  You make me feel like a failure.

Bud and I love the way it turned out.  This is pretty close to what I pictured from the beginning so I'm happy that it's done and not a total disaster.  I consider the room gender-neutral and honestly would have probably done the same thing if we had a girl.  

By far the best part of the nursery is that John seems to like it as much as we do.  He's slept in his crib every night since he was a week old.  Thank God for the video monitor.  It's great that I can keep an eye on him and we can both get some quality rest.  

 

If you're standing at the door

The rocking chair just arrived last weekend and it's totally changed my life.  Until now I was going into the livingroom in the middle of the night to nurse John.  That doesn't sound like a pain in the ass, but trust me, it is.  It's heavenly to grab him, take two steps, and plop down in that chair.  I've already fallen asleep in it twice.  Whoops.  Uma's new favorite place to lay is in the corner behind the rocking chair.  It's not the safest place to lay (rocking = squishing her), but it's cute.  Right now John is ONLY into nursing (and nursing and nursing and nursing), but I know we'll read countless books and sing countless songs in that chair.

We might add a small table in between the chair and the dresser to put a lamp, books, my phone, etc. 

The diaper caddy and wall abacus were both Etsy finds.  John already likes looking up at the beads when I move them.  Anyone actually know how an abacus works?

If you're standing next to the dresser

Sorry for the glare...I'm no photographer

Bud found this print on Etsy and liked it.  It was one of those things where you actually just buy the high-res jpeg and then print it yourself.  We blew it up to poster size and printed it at Walgreens for super cheap and found a poster frame at JoAnn's that was 50% off.  It's not often that we are thrifty so I had to brag a little.

The small round thing in the middle is a white noise machine and is another lifesaver.  Bud went out and bought it when John was 4 days old.  I highly recommend one.

Above the crib.  Thanks, Aunt Sarah!  She saw this on my Pinterest board and surprised me.  Very thoughtful!

Nannie made this for me when I was born and it was in my nursery.  Love it.

The glare in this one is impressive because if you look hard enough you can see me photobombing in my Giants shirt.  haha.

John's closet

I swear it was well organized before he was born, but now it's just the place I quickly put everything away while he sleeps.

John's Birthday

It’s been over two weeks since John’s birthday so I thought I should write down some details before I start to forget them.  Needless to say, I’ve already forgotten/blacked out parts of that day, but here’s the Cliff Notes version of the day that changed my life forever.  This will not be the “Baby Book” version of the day.  That version will mostly like have less detail and curse words.

January 21^st:

I was off for MLK Day so I slept in, cleaned the house, had lunch with Grier and Erin (I had shrimp & grits at Blackfinn), went to see Nannie, and went to the grocery store.  When I got home I was exhausted, but not too tired to eat a brownie and 2 glasses of water.  Very randomly, Janice happened to be in town that day.  I had talked to her that morning about possibly seeing her that evening.  After my little snack I laid down on the couch and was so, so tired.  I was honestly thinking to myself, “I don’t know if I have the energy to go see Jan tonight,” and felt really bad for thinking that because she’s not in Jax very often and I didn’t want to use my pregnancy as an excuse to be a lazy little bitch.  About 10 minutes later, Bud got home from work.  When he was getting changed I literally felt something pop inside me (ewww…no other way to explain it though).  So I thought, "well that was fucking weird.  maybe I should go to the bathroom."  When I stood up my water broke (luckily I was off the sofa), but I still didn't really think that's what it was b/c I wasn't have ANY contractions or pain.  Bud came out of the bedroom and asked what happened and I told him that I thought my water broke or I had peed myself.  It was 5:50 pm and I was 38 weeks, 2 days pregnant.  

We both just kinda stared at each other.  He immediately wanted to rush me to the hospital, but I thought that was a little premature considering I wasn't having contractions and mostly like had just peed my pants.  He called the doctor anyway and she asked me to go in and get checked.  Bud was a little more anxious than usual because just a couple days before a friend had to deliver his baby at home with 911 on the phone because things progressed so quickly.  Scary! 

So I did what any girl would do...I jumped in the shower to shave my legs, packed my hospital bag (yes, I still hadn't packed), made dinner (scrambled eggs with an English muffin) and tried to drag out saying goodbye to the girls as looooooooooong as I could.  We eventually got to the hospital at about 7:30 pm.

When I got to the hospital they confirmed that my water had broken which was very painful, but not nearly as bad as what was ahead.  Good news was that my water had broken.  The bad news, I wasn't dilated so we were in for a long night.  It's pretty rare for your water to break before contractions so I was seriously in shock that this was actually happening.  Bud called his parents and my parents to let them know we were at the hospital, but the little guy wouldn’t be making his debut until the next day.  My mom jumped in the car anyway…nothing was keeping her away.  They gave me some medicine to jump start things (no idea what it was, not pitocin) and WHAM contractions started and I hated my life.  I think I told Bud that I was going to jump out the window at one point.  Yep, I'm that girl.  I asked for the epidural at 1 cm, but they asked that I wait until 4 cm.  I honestly couldn’t tell you if that took 4 minutes or 4 hours, but it was hell. 

Once I got the epidural, I was so so so much better, but John wasn't.  About 10 minutes after getting it, he crashed and about 10 people flooded into my room.  Bud had just left to go get all our stuff from the car so it was just me and my mom in there.  They were flipping me on my left, on my right, on my hands and knees.  They gave me an injection to stop contractions (grrrr...not something you want to do while in labor) and his heart rate came back.  They told us to relax and get some sleep.

Post-epidural Facetime with Allyson.  I love having a baby in the 21st century.

Ha...that didn't happen.  A couple hours later they started pitocin to help get the contractions going again.  Having an epidural was weird.  I could feel contractions, but they weren’t painful.  It kind of just felt like tightening and cramping, not oh-my-god-I’m-going-to-die.  I watched the monitors all night long.  Bud might have slept an hour or so, but not much.  By 6:30 am I was fully dilated, but the nurse thought I should “labor down” a little longer because the baby was still pretty high.

At 7:30, it was time to push!  I was so excited.  I had decided early on that I didn’t want an audience for “game time” so I asked my mom to go to the waiting room.  It was just me, Bud and our amazing nurse Amy (who happened to live on a street in Nocatee where I know 3 other families…random).  I was told that I was a “great pusher.”  No idea what that means, but I’ll take a compliment anywhere I can get one.  Things were progressing great.  Each contraction I would push 3 times, 10 seconds each.  It’s oddly surreal because I’d seen it done so many times on tv and in movies…just weird that it was now me!

An hour went by and Amy asked that my doctor, Dr. Quinones, be called.  We were so close.  Once Dr. Q arrived, she confirmed that John was facing the wrong way (face up instead of face down).  With each contraction, Dr. Q would turn him, but he’d flip back as soon as the contraction was over.  Bad baby.  I pushed another hour and could tell that Dr. Quinones and Amy were not pleased.  They were incredibly encouraging, but it was pretty clear that I wasn’t progressing any more.

At the two hour mark (9:30 am), Dr. Quinones told me that she was concerned that John wasn’t going to be able to fit through my pelvis.  I had read about 1000 articles saying that doctors use this as an excuse to get you to have a c-section so when I actually heard these words I got a little miffed.  She explained that with each contraction about half his head was coming down and stretching out, but the other half just isn’t budging.  This wasn’t a random baby and a random mother in an article…this was me and my son.  This was my son’s skull, my son’s heart rate, my pelvis, and ultimately my decision.  Dr. Quinones left it up to me what to do and I’m so thankful she did.  It didn’t take long just to agree to the c-section and it didn’t take long until they were wheeling me down the hall and into the OR.

The operating room was cold and bright and had about 200 people in it.  Once they got me situated, Bud came in wearing scrubs and looking nervous.  Not sure how long it took, but it felt like a couple minutes later and BAM…a few tugs and I heard a baby crying.  SURREAL is the only word that describes that feeling.  Someone walked the baby over to us and I heard Dr. Q say “10:00 am exactly.”

Heeeeeeeeeeeeere's Johnny.  January 22, 2013 10:00 am.

7 lbs, 5 ozs; 20 inches.

Bud went over to where they were cleaning John up and got to cut the cord.  I was trying really hard to listen to what they were saying over there.  I heard “7 lbs, 5 ozs” and then “14 inches” a few minutes later.  I started slightly panicking to myself thinking “why is he a normal weight, but so short?”  I honestly was talking myself through acceptance that he might be a little person and that was ok.  It wasn’t until later that I found out 14 inches was his head circumference and that he was a healthy 20 inches long.  That’ll teach me not to eavesdrop, but it’s funny how quickly my brain races to worst case scenario.  I seriously need to chill out.  After a couple quick tests they bundled John up and handed him to Bud so that they could both join me while my surgery was finished.  Ugh…that’s a gross feeling.  It wasn’t painful, but I could feel someone inside me moving things around.  It’s really, really gross.  I was trying just to focus on Bud and John.

Cutting the cord.  Look at John covering his face...haha.

The Garro Family

A few minutes later Bud wasn’t looking so good.  He was really red and suddenly pouring sweat.  He looked over at the anesthesiologist (who, by the way, was extremely good looking and so nice…no complaints from me!) and told him that he felt like he was going to faint.  It took about 3 seconds and someone grabbed John and shoved Bud’s head between his knees and put a cold washcloth on him.  They put him in a wheelchair and wheeled him out of there.  Bud was apologetic for leaving, but I was more concerned about him so I really didn’t care. 

Right before he was wheeled out

About 15 minutes later, my surgery was over.  They handed me John and wheeled us back to my room where Bud was happily finishing a boxed lunch.  It was like Mad Men.  Wifey down the hall having the baby…husband just eating a sandwich.  Haha.

The rest of the day is a complete blur for me because I was pretty doped up.  My parents were able to meet him pretty quickly after I got back to my room and Bud’s parents came after his mom got off work.  Janice was able to come by the hospital on the way to the airport.  I don’t think I’ll ever get over the fact that she “just happened” to be in town when I went into labor a week and a half early.  I mean, seriously.  What are the chances?

Me and my boy

As much as I said I didn’t want a January baby, the 22^nd is the ONLY January day that was always the exception.  In fact, the day before I had gotten this text from Donna, a friend who’s also obsessed with the number 22.

22 craziness.

Plus, the fact that it’s my parents' anniversary is icing on the cake.  Great choice, little man.  January 22 has always been special and now it is simply the best day of the year.  Happy Birthday, sweet boy.  

Post-Bath Snuggle

Thanks for the hat, Elwood. I love it.

What's in a name?

Confession: It took me 3 days to write this and it's still jacked up with nonsense.  Sorry.

Christmas morning surprise for Bud

Oh man.  Nothing has consumed me more the past few months than choosing this guy’s name.  Bud and I really didn't start seriously talking about names until finding out that he was a boy in late September, but I don’t think a single day went by between September 19^th and the moment the ink was dry on the birth certificate that I didn't think about his name.  Not. One. Day.

Was I over-thinking it?  Yes.  But this is a massive decision and not one that I wanted to mess up.  It really didn't help that I came to this process with a very long list of “rules” that eliminated some favorites.  It drove Bud crazy.  Here’s a sampling. 

1.  We had already decided that his middle name would be Paul.  Bud, his dad, and his grandfather (and possibly his great-grandfather…Rick didn't know) all share the middle name Paul so that’s a no-brainer.  I like family traditions.

2.  We both prefer fairly traditional names that are easy to spell.

3.  I wanted a name that couldn't be shortened or have a natural nickname.  Most traditional guy names have a nickname (Benjamin=Ben, Timothy=Tim, William=Will, etc).  There is nothing wrong with these names, but neither of us have EVER gone by our actual Drivers License names and I have a slight complex about that. I thought that no one would come to our wedding because who the hell is Sarah Katherine and Andrew Paul.

This being said, I think nicknames are adorable.  Feel free to call John anything you want.  I've already been calling him Johnny, J-man, little John, Big Bad John, etc.  I just didn't want him to have to raise his hand on the first day of school every year and say, “Well, actually I go by _______.”

4.  It had to be two or more syllables to sound right with Paul. 

5.  It couldn't be a Top 25 Name.  Surprisingly, “John” was #27 in 2011 and has steadily lost popularity over the past few decades.  Being one of EIGHT Katies in my 8^th grade class was slightly confusing.  There were FOUR “Katie Cs”(Clark, Coughlin, Cuthbert, and Clements).  Because there were TWO “Katie Cl”  I literally wrote “Katie Cl(2)” on my papers.  Why didn't I just write out “Clark?”

6.  Needs to work for a kid and an adult.  'John Garro' sounds like a cute kid and a professional adult, right?  

So how’d we land on John and what was my hang up?  Bud started falling on love with John in November.  John is his maternal grandfather’s name.  I never had the chance to meet his granddad, but he sounded like an amazing man and someone that I’d be happy to have a son grow up to be like.

And while I like the name John a lot, I was not crazy about John Paul together (see rule 4 above).  Plus, John Paul sounded like a Pope to me.  At one point I agreed to John as the first name, but only if we didn't use Paul as the middle name.  Bud considered it, but in the end really wanted to keep that family tradition.  After many, many, many, many chats about this name Bud convinced me that no one will call him John Paul so it really doesn't matter what his middle name is as long as we liked the first name.  Side note: This has not been true.  I think a lot of people have assumed that the little guy has a double first name, but he does not…it’s just John. I know this will even out as people hear us call him John.

We are both madly in love with John and Bud was right....in the end it really doesn't matter what his name is.  Our biggest fear now, however, is that the much anticipated royal babe will be name John and the name will sky-rocket to the top of the charts again.  Come on Kate...do me a favor and just have a girl.